There’s a (probably made up) story about a performance of the Scottish Play (I have too many actor friends who will faint and puke if I say the name) where, at the peak of the sleepwalking sequence, some aristocratic lady turned to her friend and said: ‘How different from the home life of our own dear queen.’
It flashed through my mind as I wandered through Windsor on my way to be a guest judge at Cameryn Moore’s Smut Slam. Particularly given an outrageous story about some of The People Who Live In That Castle, which I have just heard and am not going to repeat in case of potential fucking beheadings….
Smut Slams, for those of you who haven’t been to one yet, are brilliant fun: quite different to DSW reading slams, which feature authors reading from their (mostly fictional) latest works. Instead, these are open mic evenings for true sex-related confessions. Anyone can just turn up and tell a story – there’s a theme for every event, and guidelines at the beginning – with the best ones winning a selection of sex toys and other treats.
The theme on this occasion was First Times, and I’d come prepared with an account of my first ever trip to a fetish club, in 1989 (there’s a scene in Black Heart which is very much based on that particular experience.) as I and the other judges, Domina Lush and Ama Sidero, had been asked to bring our own stories along.
Other attendees had tales of their own, though the turnout was apparently a bit smaller than usual. We still had a lovely, warm, smutty, giggly, enthralling evening, though, and I have to say that my journey home was almost as lively, as I ran into a couple of amiable drunks on the train who were enthralled to hear how I’d been spending my time that night. 
I’d certainly recommend checking out a Smut Slam in future – there are going to be plenty of opportunities even if you aren’t based in London. Cameryn basically takes the show on the road and there are upcoming events in London, Manchester, Bristol, Brighton and Scotland – as well as Europe and the US.
It’s a night out with a difference, and well worth a try. Talking about sex in a happy, positive way among open-minded people is always going to be a good thing… Now, more than ever.