Crossrail and the sexiness of trains


crossrailI’m not too surprised that @girlonthenet had some Crossrail-themed smut. Though I am probably not going to alert my teenager, who was one of those out-of-bed-at-4am-to-ride-first-train types, to the existence of this, I don’t really get the idea that an enthusiasm for public transport makes a person some kind of unfuckable loser. I mean, I am quite looking forward to taking a trip on the new shiny line myself (probably on Saturday) and have long shared much of my kid’s delight in heritage railways and transport history. I was mildly startled the time the kid dragged me out to ride some suburban bus that was making its last ever journey, and we found ourselves in the midst of a substantial crowd of fellow bus nuts, but they weren’t any more unappealing than the average commuter and several were clearly in couples, with both partners clearly happy to be there…

London Underground has certainly aided my sex life by providing me with the means of getting to various playmates’ shag palaces over the years, too. People occasionally express surprise when they find out that dogging is one of the few non-mainstream naughty things I have never tried, but the main reason for that was: I have rarely dated anyone with a car and it’s a kink that does not lend itself to those dependent on public transport. Maybe it could be a sideline for Uber drivers – but it probably wouldn’t make up for the general unlovely working conditions they endure.crossrail

I wrote one short story featuring a spot of sex on the rails myself, some ten years ago, which can be found in the Silk and Strangers anthology, and that itself was inspired by a train journey I had taken about 20 years prior to it – nice little rustic railway line which just happened to have very spacious onboard loos. And my then-squeeze and I, having quarrelled ridiculously on the platform to the extent we were travelling in separate carriages, ended up having a bout of make-up sex in one of those loos….

So good luck, Crossrail. Hope you carry plenty of other people to and from their hot dates in future – and that those who feel inclined to be the first one to have an orgasm onboard your lovely new trains remember to clean up after themselves.

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