Hairy Tales: baldness, beauty and control

baldness, bald girl, sexy shave, kink

Bald, sexy slaphead, baldness, bald womenOK so this is currently doing the rounds. A woman used a trick photo to prank her boyfriend into believing she’d shaved her head; boyfriend shat himself with rage, etc. The young have it so much easier when it comes to winding each other up, don’t you think? In my day, that would have been hours of work and expense…

Some internet commentators have expressed concern about the bloke’s reaction and suggested he might be abusive, controlling, or a misogynist. His texts do rather give that impression (given his username, which implies, to me at least, that this could be BSDS – Bullshit Dom Sub, where an inadequate man reinvents himself as a Dominant Master in order to hide his misogyny in plain sight) but, of course, On The Internet No One Knows You’re A Dog. The whole thing could have been cooked up between two individuals as clickbait. He could be getting tired of her relentless pranking.

But it’s also interesting to see that baldness – or very short hair – on a woman is still seen as radical or contentious. A few years ago, I had my (then very long) hair cut off and my head cropped to a no 4 – a dramatic change which startled and concerned people at the time: it was at a community event where the men were getting spontaneous head shaves for charity and I decided I was going to do it too…

Hair is a big deal to humans anyway and always has been: some religions have a whole series of rules and taboos about it. These are mostly aimed at women, of course, as the purpose of religion has always been about controlling and debasing women.

baldness, sexy, bald, hairless, shaving There are also ongoing arguments about dreadlocks, cornrows, hair straightening, etc – and it is almost always one of the key ways in which people describe one another. For erotica and erotic romance writers, what the heroine does with her hair, what colour it is, whether she changes her hairstyle in the course of the story… these are often both indications of personality and plot points. Even men come in for a certain amount of assumption and moralising about the way they wear their hair. A man who shaves his head altogether used to be regarded as thuggish and probably right-leaning, politically: ‘skinhead’ used to be pretty much synonymous with ‘racist’. These days, apparently, there’s a male hairstyle generally referred to as ‘fashy‘ which probably going to lead to some unfortunate social encounters when the not-all-that-fashion-forward-but-entirely-nice-bloke doesn’t realise that his haircut might be about to get him punched.

A man who is naturally balding, especially if he is making desperate and generally unsuccessful attempts to conceal the fact, is invariably a figure of fun, pity or contempt. You’re never going to get a bloke with a combover portrayed as a sex god or romantic hero, for instance. (I realise I am tempting fate a little here and am half -expecting the inbox to fill up with recommendations for Thinning Thrillers because #Rule 34.)

baldness, bald girl, sexy shave, kinkThe woman who sent that prank photo also suggests, partway through the prank, that the boyfriend might like to ‘lick my bald head’ which appalls him further, but it’s worth noting that complete hairlessness is a not-that-uncommon kink, particularly among nudists. I have also seen at least one porn film which featured a woman having her head shaved – and let’s not forget the sensual appeal of stroking a slightly-stubbly scalp (for both stroker and recipient).

I can’t help wondering if Prank Gal might decide it’s worth getting rid of her hair for real, in future. She might want to do it as a way of seeing off the boyf, should he be a douche-canoe. But, who knows – they might end up discovering that baldness is a kink they can share…

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