“I am famous. Send n00ds.”


n00dsHello and welcome to another chapter of Authors Behaving Tragically. Funnily enough, this was almost a post about someone else being Very Silly Indeed. (Romance authors whining about being categorized with EWW SEX STUFF is always annoying and amusing…) But Kara there is just a bit of a twerp, unlike little JD Barker who has just made a spectacular cock of himself. He emailed (though he has subsequently claimed some naughty PR junior did it on his behalf… from a PR company that he owns) a request for young women book promoters to do ‘racy’ promo ie naked. While I have sympathy for the BookTok stars who were upset by his rude, creepy emails, this is one of the best self-owns I have seen in a while. I mean, can’t you just imagine how piss-awful that book is going to be?

My initial take, before I read on a bit, was that whoever this nudes-soliciting weirdo might be, the book probably didn’t exist and the requester was the equivalent of one of those blokes who would turn up at a ‘learn to do glamour photography’ class with no film in the camera. (OK, younger readers might have to be excused as I am not sure this is still a ‘thing’ in the days of digital photography, but there certainly used to be a small industry of photography classes like this. A nude model was hired, along with a professional photographer or at least someone who had once earned a few bob by selling ‘Readers’ Wives’ pictures and was capable of remembering to take the lens cap off… and amateur photographers were invited to pay a fee and show up: the enticement mainly being that you would get to see a pretty model N00D!)

I even went and had a look at some of his other books, in the interests of research and all that. As you might expect, dull, generic hackwork. Almost certainly the female characters will be breasting boobily through the room and titting downstairs. n00ds

Thing is, if he had paid some porn performers to do some ‘racy’ videos to promote his latest naff ‘erotic thriller’. that would have been fair enough. Money’s money, and pretending to have read a book – maybe even reading it, if the fee’s decent and your schedule allows – is no big deal. Hitting on people who neither fancy you in the least nor earn their money by posing nude is not just grim, unethical behaviour, but it’s enormously old-fashioned. The slobbering bloke who gets famous for something and then feels entitled to hot young fanny is SOOOO last-century.

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