Not so sexy sex scandals

Mate, couldn’t you have waited? Not so much for the ‘rules’ to change (because everyone knows that most of them are arbitrary nonsense rather than sensible public health guidance) but because if all the Matt Hancock Sex Scandal had only happened a few months later, it would have been a most excellent promo opportunity for Scandalous.

OK, so the average government sex scandal is relatively frequent (and generally more fun than all that nasty stuff about corruption, bullying, mass deaths caused by greed and incompetence – give us a bit of hilarious-ish wick-dipping any day). Some people deplore the fuss made about illicit sex among public figures, insisting that no one should be shamed for consensual sex between adults even if it involves a breach of monogamy. It’s worth remembering that sometimes sex ‘scandals’ are no one else’s business, of course, but a lot of the time it’s not the sex but the abuse of power that causes justifiable concern.

As yet, at least, there doesn’t appear to be any suggestion that Hancock coerced Gina Coladangelo into snogging or shagging him. Whether the likelihood of lucrative contracts for her and her associates influenced her willingness to play with him is another matter, but it is certainly reasonable for the public to disapprove of his conduct to the extent that this is less a sex scandal than a further demonstration of the absolute corruption of this Government. Over and over again, they have handed over public funds to their incompetent, unqualified mates rather than to legitimate companies with relevant expertise.

Naturally, some have been having fun with depictions of Hancock as ‘unsexy’ because of his physical appearance and demeanour. This doesn’t seem terribly necessary, as anyone who knows anything about sex should be aware that the most unprepossessing individuals can be the most deliciously deviant, generous and thrilling play partners. His incompetence, ignorance and indifference to the welfare of the vast majority of people should be what deters people from finding him desirable. That Fucko the Clown and his entire gang carry on getting away with everything, well, that’s the real scandal.