(I just can’t face any more of my own political ranting, so if you’re looking for something else to think about or write about…)
There are several terms of address within BDSM circles which have tremendous resonance, both for the person addressing and the one being addressed. Girl On The Net wrote a brilliant piece quite recently about being called Good Girl, and even those not particularly involved in kink have some awareness of the use of honorifics such as Mistress, Sir, Daddy, etc. But gender-specific terms don’t necessarily work for everyone, or every scene or dynamic. Whether you’re playing or writing about people playing, it’s not a bad idea to have a selection of gender-neutral things to call people, as you never know when you might need to use one.
For dominants or tops:
Slut (not everyone considers this a gender-free term and some people hate it, so it’s one to check before using)
My precious (for a sub who likes praise and cherishing)
If good boy/good girl isn’t appropriate, another equivalent might be to say ‘Well done!’ or to state that the dominant is proud of/pleased with the sub’s behaviour.
Of course, as with absolutely everything about kinky interactions, what works for the people involved is the most important thing. If you’re writing a fictional depiction of such a scene, think about whether your characters would prefer formal language or something more casual, whether certain words would produce a specific response that might even be a plot twist, and so on. As I’ve said before in a slightly different context, names have power.
Got any other suggestions? Pop them in the comments.
And don’t forget to exit via the bookshop…